This Floating Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Year.
As we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a handful of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with woeful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final season began, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment centered on Seemaâs natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the final series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Mirandaâs toilet flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single âwtf?â moment. And as Carrie â a single woman once more â twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didnât let out a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
âCan Kim Kardashian act? Of course she canât.â
But that was practically the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start listing the flaws. The laughably wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful procession of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Letâs just say âeach and every oneâ and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so weâre probably going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Given the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, itâs reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that youâd truly have known it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheenâs various bouts of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we didnât already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but flippant egotist.
The Iris Affair
Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world â or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars ⌠but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe ⌠in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
MobLand
Shady figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigyâs Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didnât suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed rather simplistic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, itâs temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussexâs various ventures into quaint homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. Itâs like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting âhacksâ youâll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are clearly interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the experience was akin to reading a sales brochure. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her âmiserable cowâ image. But unfortunately, she didnât do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Game Show
It should have been the next cultural phenomenon â except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: itâs even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be âpatchyâ.
Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isnât it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly breezy, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Absolutely.
Prime Target
We admire the lead actor ⌠but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart heâs on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies spying on â and killing off â intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.